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Acting fire chief reports on Windsor Plywood fire

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Acting fire chief reports on Windsor Plywood fire

Salt Spring Island Fire Rescue (SSIFR) responded to a report of alarm bells in the area of 167 Rainbow Road at 02:35 on June 1.

Upon arrival the crews found smoke coming from Windsor Plywood at 166 Rainbow Road and additional resources were paged out for a commercial structure fire. Twenty-six firefighters and eight apparatus were used in extinguishment of the fire over a 15-hour period, flowing in excess of 100,000 gallons of water. 

There were no firefighter or civilian injuries to report, and we are happy to say Cedar, the Windsor Plywood cat, was spotted Tuesday morning, spooked but safe. 

SSIFR would like to thank the RCMP, BCAS, BC Hydro, Emcon and North Salt Spring Waterworks for their efforts in assist us with this challenging incident. We would also like to thank Embe Bakery, Thrifty Foods and Country Grocery for keeping our members fueled and hydrated throughout the day. 

And finally, a special shout out the Windsor Plywood forklift operators Jim, Jamie and Adam for some excellent driving and assisting the crews with overhaul and moving lumber around. 

Rainbow Road remains closed between the high school and elementary school and security is in place overnight. Crews will return in the morning to continue overhaul and start our investigation. Thank you for keeping the area clear for us to do our work. 

Windsor Plywood store destroyed by fire

Gail Sjuberg
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Windsor Plywood store destroyed by fire

Salt Spring firefighters battled a devastating fire at the Windsor Plywood store in Ganges this morning.

The fire was reported at about 2 a.m. by TLC Security personnel. 

“I got a call at 3:15 [from store co-owner Mike Stefancsik], was down here at about 3:40 and it was pretty ugly,” said Windsor co-owner Ken Marr.

Marr said firefighters were initially working hard to save the east end of the building. 

Marr said he and Stefancsik got the forklifts away from the building and their yard foreman Jim Michaux hopped on and moved as much product as possible away from the fire.

He said Windsor’s number-one focus right now is to look after their professional customers. 

“Yes, we have 55 families that rely on us for payment directly, but we have probably about 700 professionals that are relying on us to put bread on the table, so that’s our focus right now.”

Marr said they will get up and running as best they can at their Beddis Road site. 

The Ganges area and harbour were filled with smoke as a result of the fire.

North Salt Spring Waterworks District customers have also been affected.

“Due to the catastrophic fire in Ganges village and the extreme fire flow required to combat the blaze, some valving was damaged,” states an emergency notice on the NSSWD website.

Affected roads were Cranberry, Don Ore, David, Devine, Old Divide and possibly other areas, said the NSSWD.

While water service has been restored, a boil water advisory for any user of the Maxwell Lake side of the NSSWD system was issued at 11 a.m. That includes Ganges village and all points south.

“Crews are actively working on it and more information will be available later. Affected areas on the Maxwell system will be out of water until the NSSWD crew can repair the damage.” Affected roads are Cranberry, Don Ore, David, Devine, Old Divide and possibly other areas.

Check this site for updates to the story.  

Top three photos of fully involved fire by Kassy Marr. Aerial photo of building by Seair pilot Doug Dzus. Photo of smoking building on Tuesday afternoon by Elizabeth Nolan. Video clip also shared by Kassy Marr.

Island filmmakers scoop up Leo nominations

Elizabeth Nolan
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Island filmmakers scoop up Leo nominations

As the official award of the Motion Picture Arts & Sciences Foundation of British Columbia, getting nominated for a Leo is like being on the list for the provincial Oscars. 

Getting ready with their gowns, tuxes and acceptance speeches for the yet-to-be announced presentation this year are the creators of two short films tied to Salt Spring: Lucid and Mr. James is Dead. 

Lucid, written by Claire Robertson and directed by Deanna Milligan, received four Leo nominations. Filming was done both on Salt Spring and in Victoria, where Milligan now lives. Along with best short film, Leo nods include best directing for Milligan, best musical score for Salt Spring musician Marta Jaciubek-McKeever and best cinematography for Ramsey Fendall (Victoria). 

Peter Hoskins and Daniel Irving, two Gulf Islands Secondary School graduates now based in Vancouver, form the creative partnership behind Mr. James is Dead. The action-spy-comedy earned eight Leo nods, the second highest total of any short film this year. Their nominations include best short film, best screenplay and best male actor nods for Hoskins and best directing for Irving and his co-director Josh Aries.

Hoskins, who has an important cameo in Lucid as well as starring in his own film, was thrilled to see so many nominations for both projects.

“I love Deanna Milligan; I love Claire. Amelia McCluskey, Claire’s daughter, worked on our film, and Deanna’s been a huge help to me,” Hoskins said. “They’re doing amazing work and it’s awesome to see Salt Spring represented at the Leos. It’s just really cool.”

Both projects have already proved to be winning ideas. Mr. James is Dead was produced as a result of the Crazy8s festival in Vancouver. The event was created to foster support for emerging filmmakers who have little or no access to funding for short films and to train crew and cast.

Every year over 100 teams apply to have their story idea made, initially presented in a three-minute video. At the end, six winning projects receive $1,000 and a production package to make their short film in just eight days. Mr. James is Dead was one of the six winning films in 2020. Since then, it became one of 21 short films selected by Telefilm Canada to represent the nation at the Cannes Short Film Corner. 

Similarly, Robertson took her screenplay for Lucid through Victoria’s Cinespark Screenplay Competition in 2019, which involved a live pitch in front of an audience and a jury. The project won and received a small grant and a loan of equipment to create the film. (This was supplemented with an Indiegogo campaign that raised $10,000 with much community support.)

Hoskins said he and Irving would love to know what the winning formula is, so they could reproduce it in their current projects. 

“The success we have had in certain avenues I think comes from a lot of dedication and hard work from not just ourselves but a massive team that helped us along the way,” Hoskins said. “I think we got really, really lucky, and also we got really excited. We were pitching something that was our own, and was unique, and I think the Crazy8s people got excited about it as well.” 

Having graduated from Capilano University’s Motion Picture Arts diploma program in 2017, Irving loves the specific tools that filmmaking includes. He is now working in Vancouver’s film industry in the lighting department and has definite plans to direct his own feature one day. In fact, he and Hoskins are currently shopping around a full-length script written by Hoskins with hopes of securing funding. The pair also made the hilarious and beautifully filmed “Untitled coffee short” during the height of the pandemic to show what they could produce without needing a 100-member film crew.

“I think if we had more access and more funding, we’d be making a lot more stuff,” Irving said. 

Hoskins and Irving are thankful to everyone on the island who nurtured their growth as young artists. They agree going through the creative programs at Gulf Islands Secondary School — including the music and drama departments and the Gulf Islands School of Performing Arts — had “literally everything” to do with their creative development and current artistic paths.    

For Hoskins, being part of the national champion improv team coached by Jason Donaldson was another huge influence. 

“The foundation that I, and I believe Daniel, work off of was built primarily and almost exclusively on Salt Spring,” Hoskins said. “There are people on Salt Spring who are amazing, passionate, awesome teachers and loving individuals who [have time for] a lot of angsty teenage art people.

“And then a lot of the storytelling I pivot towards comes 100 per cent pretty much from improv teachings. You get it really well bashed into you that you’re making story on the fly and then you take what you have at the beginning and use it. That’s the toolkit you have and so that’s always been a staple of the stories I like to tell now. And I think that aided in the story we have now coming out so ‘successfully’ as it did.” 

Milligan and Robertson’s creative partnership began on Salt Spring with Milligan’s first short film, Cascadia. Robertson came on as a producer and art director after her young daughter Lily McCluskey was cast in the lead role. Fendall first joined the team for Snug, their next short film. The two women co-wrote and Milligan directed. 

Lucid, their third project, features highly stylized storytelling and a richly artistic visual landscape, both of which underscore the narrative around protagonist Mia, an art college student struggling to find her voice. When instructed by her teachers to create work “with heart,” Mia (played by professional actress Caitlyn Taylor) is pushed to an absurdly literal interpretation. 

The Salt Spring scenes feature some well-known local faces such as Georgia Acken, Keith Picot, Christie Roome and Metta Rose. In addition to the Leo nominations, the black comedy has been named as an official selection at the Short Circuit Film Festival in Victoria as well as Frostbiter (Iceland) and Midwest Weirdfest (Wisconsin). 

Robertson set the film in the early 1990s, “at a time when artists, designers and musicians such as Damien Hirst, Cindy Sherman, Alexander McQueen and Nick Cave were fascinated with the horrific and the grotesque . . . when a whole generation was hooked on grunge and disintegration after the glitzy pop-fuelled ‘80s.” 

Robertson based the harsh words of Mia’s teachers on her own experience of bringing her portfolio to be assessed by a consultant when she was trying to get into art school, and taking away only the negative aspects of the criticism. But an art school experience isn’t necessary to be engaged.

“While not everyone will relate to the need to find a creative outlet, the theme of the search to find a valid place in the world where your voice is heard is universal,” Robertson pointed out.

Milligan started her professional screen acting career at age 12, and can relate to the feeling of not measuring up to someone else’s standards.

“You’re always being told, ‘You’re not this, you’re not that.’ You always feel a little bit lacking, and you can lose yourself in that,” she said. 

Lucid is the third film project on which musician Jaciubek-McKeever has collaborated with Milligan. She said she sometimes feels they share the same brain when creating ideas for how music can help tell the story. She responded strongly to Lucid’s theme as well.

“For me personally, as a singer-songwriter musician for 20 years, I got a lot of that from the producers and labels I was trying to work with,” Jaciubek-McKeever said. “Back 20 years ago, being different wasn’t good. And I know that really resonated with me.”

When it comes to the look of the film, Milligan and Fendall were inspired by 1970s Italian horror movies with their hyper-stylized colouration and sound. 

Lucid indeed moves quickly into horror territory, and Milligan concedes the high blood quotient isn’t for everyone. 

“Some people don’t like the horror elements, but every one of our decisions was heart-felt. We couldn’t be concerned about people liking it or not because that makes your decision-making quite muddy. You have to trust yourself,” she said.

Milligan and Robertson report receiving tremendous island support for their film projects, from local businesses to the Salt Spring Arts Council.

“We’re so grateful to the people who sponsored us and the incredible talent we have to pull from as actors,” Milligan said. “That’s the thing about Salt Spring: they’re such great supporters of the communal art project.”

PICKERING, John Macdonald

Driftwood Obituary
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PICKERING, John Macdonald

John Macdonald Pickering
February 12th, 1948 – June 5th, 2021.

It is with great sadness that we announce the passing of John. He is survived by his loving wife Jenny, son Wesley, daughter Emma (Clayton), two beautiful granddaughters Layla and Lilia, sister Susan, niece Robyn and nephew John.

He was a humble, kind, loving husband, dad, grandad and friend who loved music, his cars, cooking great food, having a good chat, reading about history and so much more. He will be greatly missed by everyone.

We would like to send a special thanks to Jill & Ted, Wendy & Joe and Rob & Sally for being the greatest neighbors ever. And to Doctor Kesh Smith and Jan Hartwig, no words can express the gratitude we have for the compassion that you showed to John these last few months.

There will be no service and in lieu of flowers please donate to the BC Cancer Agency.

BLANES, Harold Conrad

Driftwood Obituary
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BLANES, Harold Conrad

Harold Conrad Blanes
April 3, 1920 – May 22, 2021

Harold died rather suddenly from an Aortic Aneurysm. He walked to Lady Minto on the Wednesday, and whilst in Emergency complained of chest pains, finding out he had an Aortic Aneurysm Dissection from a CT scan on the Friday, and he died on the Saturday. He was 101 years old.

Harold Conrad Blanes was one of 11 children born to Norwegian parents, Inge Helene and Edwin Conrad, who eventually settled in the Peace River Country of Alberta. Harold was very proud of his homesteading family and their self-sufficiency, which included building their house from logs cleared from the land they farmed, and growing or foraging/hunting most of their food. The only money they had was from the sale of butter made by his mother, turkeys sold at Christmas to pay for presents; and pelts from their hunting and sold to the Hudson Bay Company. Harold amusingly continued to refer to the shops he liked to frequent as his “Trapline”. Harold was as sharp as a tack and everyone, of all ages, loved to hear his stories and recollections.

A proud veteran of WWII, Harold received numerous medals, including France’s highest honour, the French Legion of Honour, for his participation in the liberation of France. After the War, Harold worked for Mannix on coal mining in the Crowsnest Pass, then on the Trans Mountain Pipeline in the late 1940s to the early 1950s, then for the Canadian Western Natural Gas Company in Calgary for 26 years, retiring in 1981. He spent his last 32 years in British Columbia, first in Peachland, and for his final 3 years on Salt Spring Island, spending 2 1/2 happy years at Heritage Place, where he was loved by residents and staff alike, and many of his final wishes were granted, including being served the BEST liver and onions made by the manager, Sandi Muller.

An unfulfilled wish was to finally have a resolution to the corruption he was a victim of by the investment industry of BC and Canada, where he was mistreated by two investment companies as well as the government appointed regulators. He was tormented by this injustice to his dying day.

Predeceased by his beloved son David in 1981, and wife Gladys in 2007, Harold is survived by his sons Alan and Gary (Nina); daughter Alda; grandchildren Hue (Shessy), Alena, Derick, Alex (Lucy), and Zena (Gord); as well as great-grandchildren, Gemma and Boden. He will be truly missed.

The family wishes to thank the staff and residents of Heritage Place for their love and kindness, and to nurse Rebecca, Dr. Butcher, and Dr. Reznick, for the compassion shown to Harold at his deathbed.

Harold was laid to rest with David and Gladys in Okotoks, Alberta.
Messages of remembrance may be left for the family at www.southcalgaryfuneralcentre.ca

No Gulf Islands COVID cases in recent data release

Driftwood Staff
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No Gulf Islands COVID cases in recent data release

B.C. Centre for Disease Control data released on May 26 shows no new COVID-19 cases in the Gulf Islands in the week of May 16 to 22.

Click on the chart above for full regional data from the past month.

As well, vaccination tracking data shows that 67 per cent of Salt Spring Island’s population and 87 per cent of people on Mayne, Galiano, Pender and Saturna islands have received at least one dose of COVID-19 vaccine.

Fifty-five per cent of the B.C. population has received at least one dose.

North Pender trustees back Tsawout in subdivision delay

Elizabeth Nolan
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North Pender trustees back Tsawout in subdivision delay

Subdivision of one of British’s Columbia’s highest valued properties is not in the public interest, according to the North Pender Island Local Trust Committee, which has recommended the province end an application for James Island in order to respect  First Nations interests.

As overseers of the land-use  bylaw on James Island, the North Pender LTC voted unanimously last month to advise both the provincial subdivision approving officer and the Lieutenant-Governor-in-Council on its position. They oberserved Tsawout First Nation is opposed to the subdivision and the Islands Trust has committed itself to a path of reconciliation with First Nations in the Trust Area. 

“We are really glad to have the community getting behind us,” said Tsawout Council member Mavis Underwood, who is also one of the WSANEC Leadership Council co-founders. “It helps us a lot to have people stand up with us; that other people are saying, ‘That is right, that is just.’”

BC Assessment valued James Island at $57.98 million this year, making it the third most valuable property in the province. It has been owned by Seattle-based tech billionaire Craig McCaw since 1994, officially as J.I. Properties Inc. The Arizona-based Discovery Land Company announced a partnership for its development in August 2020, naming the island its latest luxury residential community project. 

Rezoning in advance of the bare land strata subdivision was completed in 2008, allowing for up to 80 residential properties (since dropped to 79). The island is also zoned for commercial areas, conservation zones and agricultural use — the latter permitting the island’s Jack Nicklaus golf course.

For Tsawout First Nation, James Island is a cherished part of their homeland. It is part of Saanich group land claims and is the subject of an open lawsuit that Tsawout launched against the governments of British Columbia and Canada in 2018.  

Question of aboriginal title dates back to 1852, when Colony of Vancouver Island governor James Douglas enacted two treaties with local Indigenous groups for purchase of the Saanich Peninsula. According to Tsawout’s legal claim, “The purported purchase of lands by Governor Douglas under the treaty did not include James Island. James Island has never been surrendered by Tsawout.”

While the island was not identified in the treaty, Tsawout believe it should have been protected even if it had been. Policy was that First Nations’ villages, enclosed fields and burial places would be reserved for their continued use even after lands were sold, and that their rights to fishing and to hunting on unoccupied lands would be maintained. 

The 315-hectare (780-acre) island is located just 2.5 kilometres away and directly across the water from the Tsawout village reserve. Legal counsel John Gailus said it’s significant that no other First Nation has made claim to the island, which has two extensive settlement sites, including burial grounds. Tsawout members say along with hunting and fishing, they traditionally husbanded medicinal plants and food resources such as berries, camas bulbs and potatoes.

“What we see is a culturally modified landscape. Our people were meant to come back to continue our way of life and to be surrounded by our ancestors who died there,” Underwood said.

James Island was not set aside as reserve land when parts of Salt Spring, Mayne, Saturna and Pender islands were reserved for the Tsawout. Instead, British Columbia allowed it to be subdivided and pre-empted in the early 1870s. Crown grants to five lots were issued from 1874 through to 1905. 

The island was then turned into a private hunting reserve stocked with fallow deer and other non-native game. Then in 1913, Canadian Industries Limited purchased the island to establish an explosives manufacturing plant. 

“Much of the island was clear-cut to make way for the explosives plant and a village to house workers and their families,” the Tsawout’s legal claim states.

The lawsuit states Tsawout had maintained a permanent presence on James Island until the early 1870s when the provincial government forced the remaining members off the island. Underwood said the First Nation stayed connected to the land and surrounding waters, however, and members believed the island would be returned to them after the need for explosives ended with the Second World War. 

According to Tsawout, there were several times when the provincial and federal governments could have purchased the island, or large parts of it, and returned it to First Nations. Both governments deny any such obligation in their responses filed in court. 

If government were to purchase the island for return to First Nations, the compensation price tag would be high. British Columbia spent $5.45 million to protect Grace Islet in 2015. The amount comprised $850,000 for the land and $4.6-million for the previous owner’s lost investments and future enjoyment.

The Tsawout lawsuit for James Island is still in its discovery phase, and Gailus said it will likely not reach the point where matters can be heard in court for another four or five years, never mind reach a conclusion. There are concerns about how J.I. Properties’ subdivision could prejudice the case, and ultimately, Tsawout want the land returned as is, without further development.

The First Nation rejected a settlement offer from J.I. Properties that would extend some capacity funding for environmental and archaeology studies and other research, and some access to the island, in exchange for not opposing the subdivision. 

“We did not wish to compromise our case for recognition of our protected rights, and history of use and occupation,” Underwood explained. “Our position remains that cooperative efforts supported war efforts but the land should not have been privatized. The island should have reverted back to Tsawout.”

The North Pender LTC’s decision not to advance some steps necessary to the subdivision, and to advise provincial authorities against it, was an unwelcome surprise for the current owners. J.I. Properties representative Brett Rasinski said at the April 1 North Pender Local Trust Committee public meeting he had “never been more blindsided” than by the proposed motions. 

“Beyond that, is the Islands Trust’s consideration of the public interest limited only to consideration of First Nations interests?” he asked. 

In a previous meeting Rasinski outlined the extensive environmental remediation his family had undertaken to restore the land from the explosive manufacturing days, as well as his own attachment to the island through decades of visiting. 

The trustees agreed J.I. Properties has been a good environmental steward, and that the owners have made an effort to consult with First Nations. They did not agree that a rezoning completed in 2008 meant they should advance a subdivision today.

“My concern is this is a different time and a different era than when this subdivision was originally approved. And given [the B.C. Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples Act] and the [United Nations Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous People] more generally, there are concerns that we have about our responsibility as a local Trust committee around reconciliation,” trustee Deb Morrison said. “It’s about not getting between the province and the federal government and the First Nation in this moment and not moving quickly in a way that potentially causes long-term harm to First Nations, so I feel the need to slow everything down a little bit.”

Underwood said she finds the attitude all too often is that Indigenous people should just “get over” past harms. Actions like those of the North Pender LTC represent an important shift away from colonial thinking.

“Reconciliation is not just getting over it. It’s incumbent on all of us to work through this together,” Underwood said. 

Artist seeks help to build ceramics school

Elizabeth Nolan
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Artist seeks help to build ceramics school

An acclaimed ceramics artist and teacher is planning to expand the facilities on Salt Spring where local clay talent can grow and is looking for community support to make that happen.

Julie MacKinnon has been making her living as a ceramic artist on Salt Spring for the past 20 years, and has integrated teaching into her practice for the past 15. Her small studio has overflowed with students seeking her enthusiasm and skill in teaching, reaching 1,000 students this year. 

Until now she has accommodated students and emerging artists as well as possible in her personal home studio. The surge in demand means she has turned her attention over the past two years to how she can support their growth with a purpose-built teaching studio capable of year-round programming. 

“The need has changed,” MacKinnon explained. “My local students, who now have solid skill sets, need a different model moving forward.”

MacKinnon views the future school as a social enterprise that will fill gaps in island arts education, community-building and professional development opportunities, and will benefit women in particular. She notes she has always made time for anyone who wanted to learn, squeezing in lessons and clay advice while producing her signature porcelain tableware for the retail market. 

“In no time at all, my space turned into a community hub,” she said. “I’m friendly and I like people, and I’m really, really interested in people’s projects. And so it’s come into this communal area, where it’s not just about me, it’s about the community that is created.”

The squeeze to support others’ work was not just a matter of available time, but also space. MacKinnon somehow found room in her 300-square-foot studio for one or two others to work alongside her. Eventually she extended her teaching space outdoors.

MacKinnon had already incorporated an annual workshop schedule into her business model, mainly outside of the busy tourist season, before the pandemic hit. The appetite for her weekend-long and four-day teaching workshops only grew after that. With limited space and only outdoor classes possible, these have been so popular they sell out far in advance.

Of those people who have taken workshops so far, 80 per cent have been local to Salt Spring and 95 per cent have been women. MacKinnon said the sessions have built a much-needed sense of community and have been the seed for some of those students to embark on professional art journeys of their own. Five Salt Spring women to date have moved on to advanced techniques and then on to selling their work professionally, while around 30 per cent of first-time students go on to take continuing classes.

Workshops are often booked by entire family groups, and MacKinnon also offers sessions especially for children a few times each year. 

Along the way MacKinnon has found ways to include everyone regardless of means. Advanced students may transition into paid internship positions, and she has a work-trade system for lower-income clay enthusiasts. She often gifts free workshops to women in the community who are undergoing hard times, whether from grief, recovery from trauma or exhaustion as front-line workers. She recently developed a program with Islanders Working Against Violence to offer free classes to women and children staying in IWAV’s Transition House or secondary housing, or accessing their support services. 

“The conversations in my workshops have exposed me to many social and financial gaps in our community for women needing creativity and companionship,” MacKinnon said. “For years it has been my studio’s goal to create more access to the healing and empowerment clay offers.”

During the first year of the pandemic MacKinnon was able to offer outdoor classes until the weather turned in October. She then distributed her studio for the winter by renting out her wheels and providing clay and tool packages on island. Her kilns have been kept busy firing all of those people’s work, and MacKinnon offers glazing services with a line that she’s personally created. 

The outdoor classroom is now gearing up for a second year, but MacKinnon is also hard at work trying to ensure a permanent option for incubating the island’s growing talent is realized. The school will include drop-in times for self-sufficient workers and an ongoing community/social source for sharing ideas. She has already invested in most of the equipment and materials needed; a building permit to add the new building to her home property has been approved and an all-local build team has been assembled.

In addition to her own contribution, MacKinnon is hoping to find a major donor or four major donors who could bring $50,000 each to the social enterprise project. 

A short video about her work made by Amelia McCluskey called Julie MacKinnon Ceramics — Clay in Community was accepted to represent Canada for the Ceramics Congress this month, and can be viewed on YouTube.

Further information about the project is available upon request to juliemackinnonceramics@gmail.com.

Dragonboat group plants tribute to Christensen family

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Dragonboat group plants tribute to Christensen family

by DONNA COCHRAN

Spirit Point Dragons

Salt Spring’s dragon boat members wanted to show our love and respect for Nils and Sheila Christensen who sponsored the team from its start in 2006. 

Their home was located on Spirit Point, Long Harbour and the team adopted the name Spirit Point Dragons in their honour. For over a decade the Dragons had seasonal mooring at the Christensen dock for bi-weekly practices and dryland storage space during the off-season. Nils and Sheila were our biggest fans and supporters, travelling to many regattas with us over the years. Their daughter, Marit Christensen, was a valued member of the team until the family sold the property and she moved with her parents to Abbotsford in 2016.  

Sadly, Nils passed away in 2017 and Sheila in 2020. Spirit Point Dragons got permission to plant a beautiful Japanese maple in Rotary Marine Park in their memory. On Friday, the Salt Spring Parks and Recreation crew invited the team to help with the planting. A commemorative plaque will be added at a later date.

The team hasn’t been able to paddle since March 2020, but when we can get back on the water we will do an honourary “paddles up” for Nils, Sheila and Marit Christensen, whom we miss and love so much. 

Nobody Asked Me But: Ferries’ one sheet of one ply doesn’t get job done

Shilo Zylbergold
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Nobody Asked Me But: Ferries’ one sheet of one ply doesn’t get job done

Dear Mr. CEO of the B.C. Ferry Corporation,

Far be it from me to tell an important and powerful executive like you how to run your empire. I know you are responsible for the maintenance and operation of dozens of passenger ferries, as well as the employment and supervision of thousands of ferry workers. You are the one who calls the shots that allow tens of thousands of passengers like me and our vehicles to travel back and forth through much of coastal British Columbia (even during these days of our Covid-19 circuit breaker).

In light of all the important duties that fall under your watchful eye, I’m afraid that I have to inform you that all is not right in the washrooms of your ferry fleet. Specifically, I have found gross design problems in the placement and operating mechanics of the toilet paper dispensers.

Let’s first take a look at the position in which these dispensers are affixed to the wall beside the toilet seat. In many cases, the plastic toilet paper casing is so low that, if you are standing, it is nearly impossible to reach down to grab some paper should you need some. (The same genius who designed the placement of these dispensers would probably have fastened them to the ceiling to accommodate those who prefer to sit.) Even when sitting, you have to bend double to find the end of the roll, if indeed you are lucky enough to do so.

Another problem with the dispensers is that the opening from where the paper is supposed to roll down is on the bottom, often inches from the floor. Frequently, even when the paper does tear off cleanly, static electricity causes the last few sheets of paper attached to the roll to cling to the rest of the roll so that there is nothing to grab hold of. You pretty much have to be a contortionist and get down on your hands and knees to be able twist your hand up into the dispenser in order to wrestle with and grasp the loose end of the paper roll. Besides being awkward and time consuming, this act lacks the very basics of sanitation.

Then again, there are usually two rolls of paper in the dispenser at the same time and a sliding door which is supposed to allow you to switch from an empty roll of toilet paper to the full one. God help you if you should ever be in need of a wipe when it’s time to switch rolls. First of all, for some obscure reason, they have tinted the plastic window of the dispenser so that you can’t see what you are doing when trying to make the switch. After several attempts at pushing the sliding door over to the other side, you discover that the only thing you have accomplished is to have severely pinched most of the fingers on one hand. It quickly becomes clear to you that you need an engineering degree if you ever want to see that second roll in operation.

And if you thought the toilet paper dispensers were the only problem, you should take look at the rolls themselves. Many of these suckers are the size of the turbines installed in the Revelstoke Hydro Dam. Imagine the inertia that must be overcome just to get the damn things rolling. Some of the diesel power that is supposed to propel the ferry forward should actually be diverted from the engine room just to help start the toilet paper rolls moving.

It’s not just the size of the rolls, but the fact that the one-ply paper itself is probably only one molecule thick. It’s impossible to know how many sheets there are on each of the humongous rolls as no one has ever lived long enough to count them all. Because the paper is so thin and the rolls are so gigantic and difficult to move, you are lucky if you end up with one whole single sheet of toilet paper that has torn away from the rest of the roll. Exactly what can you do with one sheet of one-ply toilet paper?

If you’re not lucky, and this is much more likely, you will get little shreds and flakes of toilet paper tearing away from the roll and falling confetti-like to the washroom floor. The water that drips off your hands as you move from the sink to the paper towel dispenser soaks this layer of confetti on the floor and eventually allows this toilet paper flotsam to stick to your shoes as you depart the washroom. As you pass other passengers on your way back to your vehicle, you can’t help but notice that they too have bits of toilet paper stuck to their shoes. It’s a bit of a bonding exercise as you wink at each other as if to say, “been to the loo, eh?” 

I realize that this rant must be taking up too much of your valuable time, Mr. CEO, but I would like to mention one other issue of concern regarding ferry washrooms. I know of at least two of these rooms that have part of their original coat hooks either broken off or the hooks are missing completely from the place on the toilet stall door where they were once screwed on tightly. These are not recent occurrences, because the lack of repair or replacement of these hooks has gone on for months and even years. I realize that seasoned ferry riders should be expected to “suck it up” and use the facilities while fully clothed, but heavy outerwear can make toilet use quite cumbersome, especially during the rainy, winter season.

I must admit that I have been tempted many times to just go to the nearest hardware store and purchase several of these coat hooks, which I would then smuggle aboard the offending ferries. With these in hand, along with a screwdriver and a palm full of screws, I would stealthily replace the broken or missing hooks (remembering to flush the toilet several times during this covert operation so nobody outside the door suspects my nefarious activity). The only reason I haven’t followed through on these intentions is that I know that if I were caught in the act of this subversive repair operation, I would probably be keel-hauled and then forced to walk the plank.

Nobody asked me, but wouldn’t it be more economical and less wasteful if we didn’t have to use thin toilet paper one sheet at a time and most of it didn’t end up stuck to our shoes? Wouldn’t passengers be in and out of the washrooms more quickly if the design was more human friendly? Surely, Mr. CEO, you can find time to rectify the situation. Please show us that you really do give a sheet. 

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