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Imagining a future where phone apps date too

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It’s only a matter of time. What with artificial intelligence, robotics, apps, platforms, social media, facial recognition, neural networks and a host of other systems that have been blended together to make up the omnipresent and pervasive smart phone of today, it won’t be long before somebody is going to have to find a way for all these specialized technologies to get along with each other on the same device.

What we are proposing here is an online service for computer apps and hardware to make sure that all the digital spirits that inhabit your smart phone are compatible with each other. What we want is for your smart phone to be happy and for all the programs to coexist in social networking harmony. The last thing you would like to see happen is for Siri to tell your GPS finder that she’s not talking to him anymore because the last time she asked for directions to Whistler you all ended up in South Surrey.

How do we go about making this a reality? The solution is as simple as it is brilliant. The apps on your phone will mesh perfectly and seamlessly if they are allowed to get to know one another and feel comfortable in each other’s presence. This can be achieved in the identical way that humans accomplish the very same objective: online dating.

That’s right. Your apps and various smart devices will have a much better chance of feeling good about a potential match if they develop a deep-seated trust in each other. As everybody who has tried to connect or “hook up” with a potential life (or single-night) partner in the last 20 years has learned, this trust can often be achieved by exchanging profiles through the online dating service that best represents a particular demographic. Any other form of direct contact, such as striking up conversations with total strangers in bars, cafes and jail cells, will merely result in wasted time and effort on total loser jerks.

Of course, online dating can be a slippery slope. Just like human computer dating, there’s no way of knowing whether profile photographs have been touched up, airbrushed or even completely altered to make your “perfect match” appear much better than they are to the naked eye. Tom Cruise or Nicole Kidman may actually look more like Pee Wee Herman or Phyllis Diller. In the world of apps, a turn-of-the-millennium Motorola flip phone may stretch the truth by claiming to be a cutting-edge iPhone XS Max.

Likewise, human profiles are often enhanced on online dating sites to improve the chances of getting selected. If you believe what you read on your screen, just about everybody has a terrific sense of humour, loves to go for moonlit walks along a deserted beach, and is an expert at both Texas line dancing and Argentinian tango. Unfortunately, the shameless truth is more likely to reveal someone who believes WWE wrestling is not fake, walks only far enough to pick up the TV remote, and whose idea of romantic dancing is doing the funky chicken.

Apps signing into the online dating site must also be wary of wholesale exaggerations and downright lies when searching for compatible networking partners. Beware of app and hardware profiles that draw attention to their vast gigabyte capacity (size isn’t everything), processor speed (it’s not how fast you get there but how good a time you have getting there), extolling the virtues of virtual over real memory (once you’ve tried it, you’ll never go back), and especially idyllic hobbies and pastimes such as “loves to spend romantic evenings downloading hundreds of Netflix seasons series.”

How do your apps choose which dating sites would be best suited for their particular needs? There are dozens and dozens of them out there in the ether, so what parameters should you consider before enrolling your device in such a personal information hub? As many of you readers who have or are currently playing the dating game have discovered for yourselves, some sites have more activity than others and cater better to the social niche to which you belong. Seniors, for instance, can try SilverSingles, EliteSingles or Match.com. If you are looking for a gay relationship, OKCupid, Zoosk and OurTime.com may fit the bill. Overweight and vertically challenged (i.e. short) males can gravitate towards ShortPassions or ShortPeopleClub, while tall females may want to register with TallConnections or SkysTheLimit.

Your apps will have to make similar choices in order to optimize their chances for long-term networking relationships with other apps on your smart phone or other devices. How will the previously mentioned GPS app coordinate with the restaurant finder, UrbanSpoon? When accounts have to be settled, will PayPal foot the eTransfer payment? Perhaps somebody should create an online dating site that matches your baby monitor with your singing doorbell app so you can see who is at your door and lullaby your toddler to sleep at the same time.

Maybe your apps aren’t looking for long-term relationships at all. At the rate with which these things work, a lasting interconnection between willing devices could endure for only a fraction of a nanosecond (a billionth of a second, give or take the time it takes for a hummingbird to blink). This is approximately the same amount of time it takes for a new smart phone owner to feel their device has become outmoded and starts shopping for the latest model.

Nobody asked me, but it looks like online dating isn’t going away any time soon. Like it or not, whether we are searching through updated profiles for ourselves or for those disembodied apps who live inside our smart phones, we should come to grips with the fact that the next time we hear a ring tone on our device, it might have nothing to do with us, but instead just be a “happy face” emoticon sent from our Bluetooth to the ever popular and available Siri.

Viewpoint: Plastic grass odd choice

By GLEN WILSON

The first time I heard about the idea of plastic turf on the BC Hydro field on Salt Spring I thought it was very odd and gave it very little thought. I have been caught by April Fools’ Day pranks before and I checked the date of the article to make sure. 

Plastic grass on Salt Spring? Do we not claim to be a generally environmentalist population here? The reasons for the new turf: summer water shortages and die off, and generally not being able to use the fields as is desired for soccer and other sports . . . so let’s get plastic grass.

At first I thought, “No worries, it will never fly.” Now I see that in fact it may fly and it may be moved to the GISS field. Yahoo! Plastic grass at the high school! Solar panels on the roof and plastic grass on the field. Quite conflicting attitudes. Now there are even more reasons to have it as it will also save the strapped school district money to not maintain the field. The district might not have to pay for the installation and there is almost no maintenance.

During this era of climate change and intense concern, resorting to plastic grass seems weird to me. Now more than ever we need to be facing the environment as it is right in front of us and acting accordingly.

Deciding to side-step nature for our human demand of uninterrupted use of nature is a large part of our problem today. We are faced with a new challenge to be good stewards of our planet’s skin on the ground, in the water and in the air.

I am not a soccer player and confess that I may be out to lunch here with this opinion. I am open to new understandings that would make me happy about the idea. I also appreciate the time and energy put into this idea by the people who are working on it, but I cannot help speaking out on this one. Somehow it feels fundamentally wrong.

The cost to install the artificial turf is being estimated at $2.5 million. Surely for $2.5 million we could install a massive rainwater harvesting system on the high school and bury an enormous underground water storage tank to connect to the existing irrigation system and have green, growing, living grass all year. It would be an awesome addition to the solar panels on the roof and a fantastic advantage of water supply for fire suppression if it was needed for that purpose.

I do not really know the dimensions of the roof of the school, but it may be close to the size of the field. With an average rainfall of one metre, one inch per week could easily be used for irrigation for 30 weeks of the year.

Mowing . . . yes.

Maybe we can consider this option as well as the plastic grass option. Breathing, living grass.

Editorial: Schedule departure

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Few things enrage an island-dweller more than unexpected ferry waits.
With the current situation on the Vesuvius-Crofton route it feels like BC Ferries turned the gas burner on high under a constantly simmering anger. And guess what: it’s boiled over.
People wondering how the 44-car ferry Quinitsa would be able to handle traffic on the route when the larger Howe Sound Queen was already frequently overloaded had their suspicions quickly confirmed. A recent situation saw multiple sailings overloaded from early afternoon onwards, even for those who arrived well in advance. This may have been the result of a “perfect storm” of unusual and unknown circumstances, as BC Ferries has suggested. But similar situations have also since occurred and it now takes very little to set off cascading overloads throughout the schedule.
With summer holidays starting and summer visitors on their way, the situation is bound to get worse before it gets better. Some reprieve may come in the fall or winter, but it will be brief, as the Quinitsa is scheduled to be on the route until 2021 or 2022.
BC Ferries has long known about the size concerns involved with the configuration, and went ahead with the ship assignment because it says there simply is no better option until new minor class ships start to arrive for the other routes. It downplayed the ferry size difference, which made the reality of the change even harsher. If using the Quinitsa really is the only option, the company needs to be more flexible and creative than it has in the past with how it operates this route.
Shuttling the ferry back and forth instead of sticking to a schedule is one solution that has been raised by residents, and it’s something the ferry corporation has done in other places, such as the crossing between Hornby and Denman islands. Adding reservations, or assured loading for people with medical appointments and other priority needs, should also be considered.
Residents should bring ideas like this and any others to the next public meeting between BC Ferries and Salt Spring’s ferry advisory committee, which is coming up on July 9.
The current situation is untenable. BC Ferries needs to look at all possible options, including putting the Bowen Queen on the route, as it has done in the past, this summer.

HARRIS, Catherine (Kitty) Margaret

Catherine (Kitty) Margaret Harris

Catherine (Kitty) Margaret Harris, nee Stobbe, passed away peacefully in Royal Inland Hospital in Kamloops on June 13, 2019. She was predeceased by her husband of 63 years Rev. H.E. Harris (Bert). She was born on November 15, 1924 in Russia and emigrated to Canada in 1925 with her parents. She is survived by her daughters Catherine (Cay) Swanson and husband Lyle and Constance (Connie) Elsdon and husband Bob, her 5 grandchildren, their spouses, and 7 great grandchildren.

WEBSTER, Gerard (Gardy) Henry

Gerard (Gardy) Henry Webster
Oct 16, 1932 – June 23, 2019

Our dear Dad passed away peacefully surrounded by his loving family. He was predeceased by his wife Ruby, his parents Marguerite and Alfred Webster, and his siblings, Marilyn, Elizabeth, and Alfred.

Gardy was born in Williams Lake, B.C. He grew up on a farm in Horsefly, B.C. during the hard times of the Great Depression. Gardy learned from a very young age to work hard and live with very little. He acquired life skills such as farming, logging, carpentry, and even knit his own socks and mittens. It was a simple and enriching life that taught Gardy a skill set and work ethic that paved the road to success in his various occupations and business ventures.

Dad moved to Terrace at age 18 after his high school graduation. The following year in 1951 he met and married the love of his life, Ruby. Gardy and Ruby had four daughters and a son during their 16 years in Terrace.

Dad worked in the bush falling timber and purchased his first business selling and repairing radiators and batteries. He was a wonderful provider and always dreamed of owning a farm one day. In 1967 Dad moved his family to Salt Spring Island, where he and mom purchased a farm on Reynolds Rd. He spent the next few years subdividing part of the farm and was employed in construction. He eventually bought the construction business and built many homes on the island.

Dad and Mom enjoyed their nearly 50 years on the island. They joined the bowling league and were members of the golf club where they made many life-long friends. They enjoyed many years of travel together. In retirement Dad enjoyed falling and milling his own lumber and became an accomplished wood turner. He especially loved the forest, and the character, colour, and grain of the various species of trees that the island has to offer.

Dad was a loving husband, father, and grandfather. He will be deeply missed by his friends and family. He is survived by his daughters Carolyn (Ray), Debbie (Bob), Pam (Allan), Cindy (Bob), and son Scot (Elaine), 11 grandchildren, and 16 great grandchildren.

He also leaves to mourn his sister Maxine and brother Ray, brother-in-law Ken (Sherrill) and numerous cousins, nieces, and nephews.

The family would like to thank Dr. Crichton and Savvy Seniors for their loving comanionship. A special thank you to Greenwoods Eldercare and the Hospice Society for their thoughtful, gentle care of Dad.

Those wishing to leave condolences may do so at www.haywardsfuneral.com .

In lieu of flowers please send donations to Greenwoods Eldercare Society or the Hospice.

MURRAY, Michael Edgar

Michael Edgar Murray
January 5, 1941 – June 15, 2019

Michael left us too quickly and well before his to-do list was done, as a result of complications following emergency open-heart surgery in May.

Michael grew up in the Montreal area and came to Vancouver with his partner Marilyn and their young children Trevor and Brenda in 1965. Michael worked for Mainland Engineering and then Crown Zellerbach but had trouble with the tie-wearing corporate environment and found himself on Salt Spring in 1973. He built his first house from the trees of his Cranberry Road property with help from Trevor and Brenda, his second partner Cheryl and friends. He went on to build more log structures on the island and did conventional construction work as well. He also tried commercial fishing for a few seasons. He bought the island’s ACE Courier franchise in the later 1980s and then opened an office for ACE in Duncan. Eventually he acquired a parcel delivery contract for Canada Post before retiring in 2009.

Michael is survived by his long-time partner Gail Sjuberg of Salt Spring; their daughter Chloe (Evan) in Vancouver; his daughter Sylvia (Paul) and granddaughter Ruby in Australia; his daughter Brenda (Guy) and grandchildren Carmen and Luc (Miguel) in Quebec; nieces and nephews in Arizona and Missouri; and beloved dogs Buster and Lulu. He was predeceased by his son Trevor, brothers Dave and Danny, and parents Leslie and Olive.

Michael always said he wanted his obituary to contain the phrase “He tried hard but his skates were dull.” It is true that he gave his full heart to everything he did, whether building the best bridge possible over the pond on his property, growing heirloom tomatoes and other plants from seed, raising farm animals, maintaining his classic cars, or being a fully devoted and loving partner and father.

For a number of years he volunteered with the Salt Spring Food Bank, and served on the Ptarmigan Ridge strata council board at Mount Washington. He was among the first members of Salt Spring’s antique and classic car club, as well as the island’s food co-op in the 1970s.

Michael loved downhill skiing and was a Mount Washington season’s pass holder until he died. He read quality fiction voraciously, enjoyed roots, blues and classical music, and was a lifelong Major League Baseball fan. He had a strong sense of social justice and gave what he could to important causes. He was not afraid to share his point of view on any topic.

But throughout his life Michael battled with depression and anxiety, which held him back from some of the things he wanted to do. At the same time, the nature of his illness contributed to the compassion he brought to his relationships. In his later years he took every opportunity he could to educate people about mental illness. (The Royal Jubilee Hospital staff heard lots about it during his weeks there!)

He also liked the phrase “It’s a great life if you don’t weaken.” Life was not always easy for Michael but he did not weaken.

A memorial will take place on Sunday, Aug. 4 at Meaden Hall at 2 p.m.

Thanks go to RJH and Lady Minto Hospital staff, Dr. Dan Kalf, Medi-Van, Christie at Haywards, and everyone who has provided dog-sitting and other support, kind words, hugs and food.

Ferry passengers upset by small boat

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The BC Ferries vessel Quinitsa has made few friends during its first week or so in service on Route 6, with an especially bad day experienced by people travelling between Vesuvius and Crofton on Thursday.

Multiple sailing overloads were compounded by a scheduled dangerous cargo sailing and left some passengers heading to Salt Spring to wait three hours in Crofton before getting on a boat.

One of the drivers to get caught up in the traffic was School District 64 bus driver Julianna Slomka, who took a grade one class to the raptors centre outside Duncan for a morning field trip. She described how another, empty school bus had to hold a place in line for the morning trip while she picked up the class. Later that morning when she arrived at Crofton hoping to be in time for the 12:55 sailing home, she was told there wouldn’t be room.

“Usually we are parked by the park and the kids can get out, have lunch and play. This time we were way up the road,” Slomka wrote on the SSI Community Discussion Forum public Facebook page. “The ferry worker says it’s full and the next sailing is dangerous cargo so we will have to wait till the 3:35 ferry. Can you imagine being stuck that long with a busload of kids?”

While the class and their adult attendants were permitted to travel as walk-on passengers, Slomka had to stay with the bus, which left the school district short a bus and a driver for part of the afternoon.

Many other drivers arrived after the dangerous cargo sailing and expected to wait an hour for their ferry but had to wait a couple of sailings instead. By 4:30 p.m. cars were parked all the way up Chaplin Street to the turn-off at Crofton Road heading toward the Shell gas station. Most of those people had to wait for the 7:20 p.m. sailing.

BC Ferries said there was an unusual amount of traffic that day, and as best as they can tell there may have been a “perfect storm.” Graduation weekend was one potential cause for extra traffic. Humphries suggested seniors may be taking advantage of discounts in Duncan and the final day of the week’s discounted sailings on Thursdays.

“It’s certainly not the experience we want our customers to have,” Humphries said.

BC Ferries’ terminal manager is collecting data to analyze the situation, she added.

The level of frustration is so great that a new Facebook group has been activated called SSI Ferry Lineup Alert.

“This is a community group designed for Salt Spring residents to let each other know about ferry lineups, waits and other issues as we approach another busy summer and the potentially frustrating delays that go along with the increased loads, etc. Let’s use this as a tool to help reduce our summer ferry rage,” wrote creator Rebecca Leanne.

Members of the Salt Spring Ferry Advisory Committee were also caught up in Thursday’s traffic overloads. Both Peter Grove and Matt Steffich were travelling back to Salt Spring that afternoon and experienced multiple sailing waits. Both were resigned to the situation, however, with knowledge the Quinitsa is scheduled to stay on the route into 2022.

Saanich North and the Islands MLA Adam Olsen has reported being bombarded with messages since the Quinitsa went into service on the route on June 5, and especially after Thursday’s complications. He has asked for people to share their concerns and feedback directly to his email address Adam.Olsen.MLA@leg.bc.ca and also to copy Transportation Minister Trevena at Claire.Trevena.MLA@leg.bc.ca and B.C. Ferries.

While the issue with school buses may not be a problem again for some time with the school year ending this month, BC Ferries said the idea of assured loading could be added to the agenda for its next public meeting with the Salt Spring FAC on July 9.

The meeting was rescheduled from its original date on May 17 because BC Ferries executives were unable to get on the ferry to Fulford.

For more on this story, see the June 19, 2019 issue of the Gulf Islands Driftwood newspaper, or subscribe online.

SD64 facing budget pressures

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Parents of Salt Spring Island Middle School music students have asked the Gulf Islands School District to reconsider funding choices related to the SIMS music program.

A delegation led by Kim Thompson and Magnolia Paulker at the June 12 SD64 meeting asked the board to increase the music teacher’s hours.

A letter sent to district superintendent Scott Benwell that was signed by 63 concerned parents discussed the amount of unpaid hours that current music teacher Keith Ollerenshaw put into the position, and said that a higher full-time equivalency portion is needed to have a functional music program in the school.

“Simply put, a program built upon such a high number of volunteer hours is not sustainable,” the letter reads. “Any program that depends upon unpaid labour to such a degree will not be able to grow, flourish and thrive over time and across the years from middle through high school.”

In May, parents were worried about the possibility the hours allotted to music at the middle school would be reduced. Teaching hours are set out in terms of full time equivalency — with 1.0 being full-time — and allocated based on funding availability, as well as scheduling concerns.

In previous years, the music teacher position has fluctuated between 0.2 FTE and 0.6 FTE. In the 2018-19 school year, the position was set at 0.4 FTE.

The board has confirmed the SIMS music program will stay at 0.4 FTE next year. The board has also honoured a request made by SIMS administration to make the position a continuing one, rather than one that teachers would need to apply for year by year.

Bringing up the teaching hours would give the music program at SIMS more rehearsal time, which parent Kim Thompson explained is important to skill development.

The school district is facing a period of rebuilding after encountering a deficit brought on by an enrollment audit. Approximately 1,500 students are enrolled in the Gulf Islands School District, but it fluctuates each year. Going into 2019-20, the board is expecting to have fewer enrolled students due to a small kindergarten class and a large outgoing graduating cohort. There will be 60 fewer students at the high school alone, meaning a budget reduction of close to $600,000.

“The presentation about increasing music and band programs across our district is experienced …  as a pressure,” said superintendent Scott Benwell during the meeting. “This year, with diminishing resources, there has been a commitment to maintain [the SIMS music program].”

A student rep and another parent who attended the school board meeting also asked why an English Lit 12 class is not being offered at GISS this coming year. The board explained that not enough students had registered for the class to have it go ahead.

Going into the next five years, the school district will be scaling back operations in an effort to recover from years of financial instability. The board has been approved for $1.2 million in relief funding and hope to rebuild their surplus funds to protect against future funding challenges. They are predicting a drop in revenue over the next five years, and will be looking to live within the means allotted to the district.

For more on this story, see the June 19, 2019 issue of the Gulf Islands Driftwood newspaper, or subscribe online.

Laundromat spaces explored

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Salt Spring community members are being asked to participate in an anonymous survey around laundry needs while the Wagon Wheel Housing Society continues to explore possibilities for establishing a facility in Ganges.

Salt Spring has been largely without laundry services since Mrs. Clean Laundromat closed its doors after 25 years in business at the end of February 2016. The lack of publicly accessible facilities spurred weekly protests in Centennial Park in 2018, with islanders turning out to wash their clothes in buckets.

Wagon Wheel Housing Society is an offshoot of the Copper Kettle Community Partnership that is specifically dedicated to finding housing and laundry solutions for low income islanders. Society founder Cherie Geauvreau reports the group has located a site with potential in the downtown area. The volunteers are just waiting for permission to conduct a water supply test to see how much capacity there is for their machines.

In the meantime, the society is compiling information about community need. The deadline to complete the online survey has been extended into July. It can be accessed at https://ingamichaelsen.typeform.com/to/qIDvQU.

The Wagon Wheel Housing Society is also collecting donations toward the project. Look for their distinctive collection tins with washing machine windows in local stores.

First annual Photofest runs until June 26

The first annual Salt Spring Photofest opened Thursday with exhibitions at 34 different venues around the island and kicked into high gear with five associated artists’ receptions on Friday evening. The show is the coordinated effort of two main groups, Photosynthesis and the Salt Spring Photography Club. It also captures many individual photographers not associated with groups, some of whom are getting the opportunity to exhibit for the first time. The Driftwood is just one of the many locations to host photo art: come by our office to see a selection of Day in the Life shots from the past several years.

Maps of the participating locations can be found at ArtSpring, Gallery 8 and the Salt Spring Visitors Centre, and can be downloaded to mobile devices from saltspringphotofest.com. The show runs to June 26.